The Little-Known Connection Between Richard Nixon and Obamacare

Before Obama, the last U.S. president to propose a universal health care system was Richard Nixon. His older brother Harold had contracted tuberculosis as a teenager, and Harold's medical costs devastated the family. To help out, Richard worked as a janitor while in high school and still managed to graduate third in his class, earning a tuition scholarship to Harvard. Unfortunately, the scholarship didn't cover room and board, so Nixon attended Whittier College in his hometown in order to help his family care for his ailing brother; Harold died three years later.

Yet, for all his shortcomings as president, Nixon understood the miseries of being poor, of being unable to afford health care. He became an advocate for health care reform, and in 1971, he pushed for an insurance mandate, the same mandate over which Congressional Republicans shut down the federal government today. Think about that for a moment: Richard Milhous Nixon, a man whose name has literally become a synonym for fecal matter, was more compassionate and in tune with the needs of the American people than the modern Republican party.

Caught Between Barack and a Hard Place

I was wrong.

I was wrong about President Obama and Mr. Romney being handcuffed by the town hall format of last night's debate, going so far as to explicitly say it "means Romney's assertions will go unchallenged."

I was wrong about my evening being ruined by the preemption of New Girl. The second presidential debate of the 2012 general election, as it turns out, was entertaining and satisfying and arguably the most exciting political discourse I've witnessed in my lifetime.

I was wrong to think there wouldn't be a moment like in the video below, a moment that should not be overlooked. A moment where Mitt Romney lies about a dog-whistle issue and gets caught, where he exploits the death of four American diplomats, killed while serving our country, for political gain. Never mind that if this happened when a Republican was in the White House, Fox News wouldn't bat an eye at letting the investigation run its course; never mind that the State Department didn't want to announce to the world that there was a major CIA operation going on and they had to make sure nobody released any classified information; and never mind that Romney didn't call out Obama for merely being technically correct because Mitt wanted so badly to win a political point.

What I was not wrong about, however, is that last night's debate "won't change people's minds like the first one did." I feel confident in saying that once the post-debate polls come in over the weekend, Obama will see a small, meaningless bump, and I will still be pissed.

The Passion of The Candidate

On the eve of the second presidential debate of the 2012 general election, I find myself wondering a few things.

I wonder, why did Obama, in front of his largest audience all season, act like a reluctant boyfriend dragged to a Twilight movie? No, Mr. President, you did not simply have "a bad night." You and your team canonized the bullshit notion that Romney should be handled with kid gloves, as if he wasn't going to come out swinging like an Adderall-fueled collegian studying for the LSATs. You are not, nor have you ever been even a Joe Biden-level debater, and Mitt Romney is no Sarah Palin. And the gall, the absolute arrogance to ask me for money after that shit show you called a debate performance? It all but makes me hope you lose. That's how pissed I still am.

I wonder, what will the inevitable Willard Romney administration be like? Will President Romney roll back abortion rights? Will he actually cut income tax rates across the board by 20%, even when "helping small business owners" has the (un)intended effect of helping the very wealthiest Americans? Will his presidency prove a boon for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, even though evangelical Christians, who believe the Bible is the word of God, really shouldn't vote for someone who thinks Jesus rose from the dead, then made a B line for America?

But mostly, I wonder how President Obama will manage to disappoint me in the remaining three months of his presidency, tonight included. With New Girl preempted, my evening is already ruined. But the second debate will be town hall format which means Romney's assertions will go unchallenged. The final debate is on foreign policy, so Obama won't have a chance to address "the 47%" or Romney's record at Bain Capital or his campaign's anti-education, anti-healthcare policies or any other thing that Americans actually care about, because foreign policy sure as hell isn't one of them.

Romney has surpassed Obama in a number of polls, and the remaining debates won't change people's minds like the first one did. Record donations will be made in these closing weeks, money that could be better by those who need it most. The only question left to wonder, I suppose, is whether to move to Florida or Texas before I blow my life savings on the lottery.

Are Public Schools Worth It?

NPR's Planet Money blog created the following graphic that illustrates the combined federal, state, and local government per student cost per year of public school:

Here's a map I created that uses SAT scores. 

Some states require students to take the ACT or the SAT so I recreated the map using ACT scores.

Perhaps a compromise is in order. Here's the average of each state's ACT and SAT ranking.

I could say that spending more on students means better educated students that do better on college entrance exams and get into better universities, but then I'd be like Fox News and knowingly lie to make a political point.

Why I'm Voting For Rick Santorum

As Super Tuesday approaches, I hope to convince you all to vote for Rick Santorum in your respective primaries. There are a number of great reasons to support him, but personally, I'm voting for Rick Santorum because I enjoy raping women.

On January 20, 2012, Rick Santorum had a sit-down interview with Piers Morgan where he, in no uncertain terms, stated that rape babies are "a gift from God," and what kind of Christian would I be if I didn't try to share God's gifts?

This was my "You had me at 'Hello'" moment. Senator Santorum is the only candidate in this election, Republican or Democrat, who shares my pro-rape views. In Genesis 9:1, God tells Noah and his sons to "Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth." Since Bible verses should be taken literally, what better way to fulfill the word of God than to rape as many women as possible and multiply my fruit?

The more detail-oriented of you may quibble with my implication that rape will result in offspring, but again you overlook the obvious fact that I would never use contraception. Here, too, Rick Santorum agrees fully with my pro-rape views. Even as far back as 2006, Rick Santorum asserted that contraception is harmful to women.

If you take just a moment to reconsider your vote, I think you'll find that Rick Santorum is the right candidate. With Rick Santorum in the White House, you and I and everyone will know that, when we're raping women left and right, we'll have the President behind us. Remember, a vote for Rick is a vote for rape babies!

Conversations About Health Insurance

The following conversation took place between American college students in Virginia and Georgia, both employed full-time.

"Ugh, my leg still hurts from when I hurt it somehow on Sunday, but if I go to the student health center, I'll get a diagnosis of "I don't have now have lortabs" and or "babies."

"What did you do on Sunday?"

"Went sledding. I didn't think I did anything but ever since Monday morning, my leg has been hurting like a bitch."

"Btw, what does 'babies' mean?"

"The health center's default diagnosis if you're female (or even male, in my friends case) is that you're pregnant."

"Ah right. Well, can't the health center refer you to an orthopedic specialist?"

"Hahahaha they probably don't even know what 'orthopedic' means."

"Then go see a specialist on your own?"

"$$$"

"Insurance?"

"I have some, but my orthopedic dude is four hours away and has to schedule appointments three months in advance."

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Another conversation between full-time employed American college students, one in Georgia and the other in California.


"I broke my foot a little over a year ago and ever since then, wearing normal shoes hurts my foot."

"Did you rehab the foot properly?"

"I don't have health insurance. (No)"

"If only the Republicans weren't such demagoguing assholes. Oh noes a public option will result in the communist downfall of America!"

"I tried to get Medicaid and they literally told me I didn't qualify because I didn't have a child. So apparently I have to get knocked up to have healthcare. But at the same time people will bitch about the poor having kids they can't afford!"

"I had a similar experience last year when I developed gastrointestinal bleeding. I went to the student health center but they didn't see any hemorrhoids near the surface, so they referred me to a specialist. The bleeding stopped shortly after, so I didn't end up going because my health insurance sucks, but the bleeding has come back periodically since then."

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There's a reasonable debate to be had about fiscal and regulatory policies, but can we at least agree that decent, affordable health care shouldn't be a luxury like a Rolex?

For another perspective, NPR recently did a story looking at substandard health care for employed adults.